Improvements.

I've decided that I am going to start taking better care of myself. Being so young makes you sometimes prioritize and concentrate on some things that don't really matter. I need to get my shit together. Eating better, sleeping better, studying harder, loving more. Idolize this time. Focus on what I NEED.

I'm worried that if I don't do that now then I might not be as selfless as I want to be or need to be in my future life and career. I feel like I keep seeing and hearing about people MY AGE getting married and starting families and I start to wonder where thier mind's at. My mom had me when she was 22, I turn 21 in about 2 weeks. What the hell? The very idea of having a child or having to be solely responsible for anyone else other than myself at this age makes me throw up a little in my mouth. I can't even get a solid sleeping schedule down, let alone be in an insanely committed relationship involving and infant along with the 17 billion other things going on around me. How do they do it?

When you're younger, you have this set idea in your head about what your life will be like and you just assume that it will turn out exactly the way you plan it. I've come to find that in the place where I grew up and the circumstances that are presented to the people of the small Floridian beach town limit them to a certain lifestyle. No offense but that is a life that I refuse to live. The world is a much bigger place than that and I am more than happy that I haven't allowed myself to settle. There are very few things that I feel safe admitting my dependence on but even those things are constantly changing within themselves. I'm obviously a fan of stability.

Changing = Growing

Last night was one of those nights that start early and end late. After a long day at the Malenchini Estate just outside of Florence, I couldn't decided what I wanted to do. Will I ever just be able to make a decision? The Malenchini Estate was probably one of the most beautiful places that I've ever been to (the Swiss Alps battles it for sure). We took a city bus from San Marco for about 20 minutes and then walked up a hill that seemed like it would never end. I hadn't been out of a city for a while and the air seemed cleaner, the grass greener, and my senses just seemed more emphasized than ever before. We were in the Tuscan mountains at the escape house of the De Medici family and the weather couldn't have been more beautiful. During our walking journey up to the estate, I didn't feel like talking to anyone because I didn't want to hear about what so and so did last weekend or about how their feet hurt or the "Oh my god, and then like, he didn't call me back" tones from the sandwich girls Seriously, shut the fuck up -- YOU ARE IN TUSCANY. What do you really have to complain about?

I think it's funny how people who don't speak English as their first language apologize to other fluent English speakers that they can't communicate very well. They claim to feel bad for not being able to communicate what they feel like they should be able. It's funny because we don't even try to abide to them and their language. Our tour guide was explaining that her family bought the estate in the 1800s and it has been with them ever since. We got to explore the wine cellar with barrels twice my height. Underground we also saw humongous clay pots that they used to make olive oil in (I found one that had the year 1847 carved in it). She said that those pots were out of commission because they now use stainless steel because it is more efficient and easier to sanitize.

We then had a wine tasting alone with some of their olive oil, bread, cheese, prosciutto, salami, you know.. the usual. We then laid in their backyard which was absolutely surreal. Brooke should be posting pictures of it soon (my camera would die on THIS day). Since it's been so cold here, I almost forgot what the sunshine on my face felt like. It seems like the only thing that I ever have exposed outside here is my face and sometimes my hands therefore my skin color has notably changed. I like the change in weather from the ordinary of being drenched in sweat but I cannot deny my Floridan roots.

I'm not sure if it was the Tuscan grass or that every muscle in my body was completely relaxed but I started to feel this wave of happiness rush over me. I closed my eyes, took a deep breath and let it out with a sigh of relief. The sunshine drapped over me like a light sheet in the summer. I started to feel my cheeks getting a warmer and my skin absorbing color. Catherine took the words out of my mouth when brushed her shiny blonde hair out of her face, opened her eyes, turned her freckled nose towards me and said "Liz, I think this might be what heaven is like." We all then decided that if we were getting a preview of the long awaited Italian spring that we definitely were not going back to the states.

Candace and Laura basically had to drag us to the bus to go back to the city. Things like that always go by too quickly. I liked watching Catherine as we walked back down the hill. I have never seen her look so peaceful. She had this smile that made me have hope in all good things. It was like she had seen an angel. I wonder if I've ever looked as happy as she did in that moment. She truly appreciated everything around her and you could see her absorbment written all over her face.

I was only home for a few hours before Maera called and said that we were going to go down to the bridge west of the Ponte Vecchio to people watch. I'm always down for that. As I was walking to the Arno, I realized that Florence looked different than it ever has before. It's a city you know, not like a Paris or London, but it is a decently sized city. It didn't seem like it last night. There were probably four times as many people out and about on the streets than I have EVER seen before. I've found that hanging out with Maera is an always guaranteed good time. I always learn from her since she's been in Florence for a while now and she's just one of those people.

She had never been to me and Carlos' favorite panini store and we were starving so we just couldn't resist finally showing her something new. We met up with Joel and Nina at Rex for their classic (and wonderfully favorite) aperitivo where I discoverd (yet somehow missed before) the literal elephant in the room. I then inevitably lost a game of "Never have I ever".. which I always manage to do. The five of us then all went our different ways, Maera and Carlos to a concert, Joel to go drink a bottle of wine alone (or whatever that space cadet usually does?), and Nina and I went to Za-Za to meet Catherine and Brooke for a beautiful outside dinner with the view of the San Lorenzo. Note to self -- fresh strawberries, lemon juice, and powdered sugar is my new favorite thing.

I have never had too much one on one time with Nina but I'm probably going to Torino with her for a few days over break. I am very excited to get to know this girl better. She's grew up 30 minutes outside of New York City and somehow ended up at the University of Montana. I think I have a lot to learn from her. This morning I woke and felt inspired to run (this hasn't happened in a while so I figured I would take advantage). I only had my ipod on me and I decided to not play it so safe. I took turns and cut corners and explored streets of Florence that I've never seen before. Throughout my three hour spree of getting completely lost on purpose I found the other train station and a numerous variety of parks and fountains that I can't wait to picnic at when the pleasant spring weather is finally here.

When I got home, I impulsively bought 25 euros worht of groceries. I haven't bought groceries in forever since schedule in about the past month has allowed me to be in four countries, leaving little to no time to actually eat in my apartment. I found this new bomb cereal that I raved to Mike about all night called Cocoa Krave (which is actually branded by Kellogg) that are like these mini like chocolate croissants (other new obsession). I've also been hooked on pesto lately too. I eat it on my paninis, pastas, chicken, basically anything that will allow me to have it on there, it's there with some BALSAMIC VINEGAR (I could drink that stuff straight). While it was hard to adjust to not having some foods here at first, I definitely think that this point I don't know what I am going to do without my eating spots, foods, and habits here. Reverse culture shock is going to totally suck.

Massimo always says, "Be sure to smell everything in sight. So you can recognize it." Culinary school has started to do that to me. Once you know the proper way to taste wine and make chocolate you'll never do it differently again. From now on I'll know my recipes and how much or how little to use in each specific dish. I never thought that culinary school would be my thing but it's so much fun. As I've mentioned before, normal class from now on will be completely different. This is more hands on then anyone could ever ask for.
-- Record. Remember. Risparmiarsi. --

Remember THIS.

I'm starting to get annoyed at the internet. I mean, it is a great thing and all but sometimes I wish I had a life without it. I think I'd be different. I think you'd be different. What if this whole experience of being abroad was done without our World Wide Web connections to our lives back home? Or emails, facebooks, blogs, skye dates, TV and movie updates, the constant feeling of wanting to be connected to the outside world. We would talk to each other less, our parents less (mine is pretty minimal anyway) and this entire experience would be on the other side of the spectrum.

We are (at least I am) experiencing a culture shock that fluxuates everyday on different levels depending on which city or country I am in on that day. Even in Florence I still find things on a daily basis that blow my mind. I've kind of stopped thinking about it like I used to and just roll with it because you can't let it hold you back. I don't think I would anyway but when I think back to when I was in London, it was almost like I had a completely different pair of eyes. I observed and soaked up everything around me because I wanted to and I felt like I almost had to absorb the entire experience and city. While this still holds to be true, my perspective of a certain caliber has been minimized due to my constant surroundings of beauty. It seems like everything you see here should be even more notable than the thing before that.

Maybe I feel differently about it now because almost every weekend for the past month has led me to a new country. Going to class is just like a big update on everyone's opinions on which city is worth going to and what is worth spending your $$$ on. The recommendatins that I recieve on food, hostels, airlines, cities, countries, activiites, etc. etc. are almost expected now once I enter my classroom (which happens to be a kitchen).
Going back to normal class in the states is going to feel pretty lame when everyone is just like yea, I worked this weekend. Here it's like oh yea, I went to Switzerland and jumped off a fucking mountain. No big.

It's how we live our lives. It is exciting enough that we are even in Europe at all but it feels almost like you're missing out if you don't travel around. At least that's how I feel. I would go to a different city every weekend if I could afford it. Europe is like my little playground and I'm kind of addicted to my lifestyle here. As I was flying back from Paris this weekend, I calculated that since 2010 started about two months ago, I have been in 4 states, 5 countries, taken eight flighs, 7 trains, 9 buses, 3 taxis, and an uncountable amount of metro rides. Seriously, who does that? For some reason I like it and I feel like I could do it forever. Being in one place for too long (which now is a couple of days) just doesn't seem good enough anymore. I wonder if I'll ever "settle down". This way seems so much more fun.